Shaken (but, not stirred)...

Thursday, while at work, I received a call that shook me to my core. It is one of the calls that we, as parents, fear whenever we leave our precious little ones in the care of another. We keep our cell phones close, waiting for the call. The one that says that our child is sick or god forbid hurt or out of control. Never did I anticipate the call being my babysitter who was the one out of control. An apparent panic attack/nervous breakdown was triggered by my tired babies protests to a nap. The call went something like this: Her: Do you have a minute? Me: Sure. What's up? Her: (Babies crying in the background) I can't take it anymore! I quit, I quit! I gotta go! They are crying and I don't know what else to do! (escalating, crying of sitter) Nothing I do is working. It's out of control. I have to go, leave....! Me: Please, take a deep breath. Try and calm down. Are the kids alright? Are you ok? Her: I need to leave! Please! Me: Ok. Please hold on! I am leaving right now, but please just wait! I am on my way... I ran out the door, leaving an entire afternoon of work in the dust. I called a neighbor and begged her to please run the seven houses down the street and check on my children. The daunting prospect of a 45 minute commute loomed on the horizon. A million thoughts and news reels ran through my mind and I prayed, "Please Lord, please protect my babies". We have all seen the news stories, shook our heads while pulling our babies closer and said, "those poor parents. I couldn't imagine..". I prayed with everything I had to not be one of those parents I have pitied. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to be. I managed to make a 45 minute drive in under 30 minutes, thanks to managable traffic and speeds exceeding 90 mph. I arrived home to my two little angels, sitting quietly on the couch. I scooped them both up, inhaled their sweetness, and offered up a silent prayer of thanks for their safety and well-being. Needless to say, that sitter will never be returning. Over the past few days I have been asked, "Did you see this coming?" or "Were there any signs?", and of course the answer is NO. If in anyway I believed she was unstable, I would have NEVER left them in her care. That sitter was a part of our family for nearly three years. She had worked for other families as a nanny for years. My children loved her, and she loved them. But that is not always enough. We never know the baggage that other people carry, and obviously my sitter's load had become too heavy. Steve's mom used to tell me that in her experience as a mental health therapist, she had come to the realization over the years, that we are all just one crisis away from falling off the cliff. I suppose we just have to pray that we are neither the reason for a person to fall off the cliff, or a recipient of that fall. I am just grateful that despite her fall, my children were safe. Later that evening, well after my babies had been tucked into bed and they were peacefully asleep, I layed next to each of them. I held them tight and listened to their soft, even breaths, and inhaled their soft, baby sweetness. I reflected on the day and made some resolutions right then and there. I am blessed to be in a place to make such decisions, and will discuss them at another time in a very future post. In the meantime, all the drama of the week demanded a little rest and relaxation this weekend. And what better place to find that than surrounded by family at our little slice of heaven, known as, Peanut Island. Here the squeals of happy children are interrupted only by the cries of seagulls announcing their arrival, while the sounds of Jimmy Buffet and Bob Marley are carried on the sea breezes. A place where we hunker down and brave the winter months in peace and solidarity. And whoever said you can never escape and be alone in the "rat race" of South FL, has never been here. Here you can walk and run for miles and never meet another soul, other than a lone seagull. A place where two year olds are not only mayor of our little island, but also security. And whatever you do, don't cross a two year old who missed his nap. A place where best friends are also family, because family is all that really matters in life. We played hard loved much and found some much needed relief while enjoying and celebrating the simple things. Happy Birthday, Lainie! Wishing you much happiness and many blessings... This past week reminded me, yet again, of what is most important in life. It is not about the jobs we hold, the money we make, or life's little details that we allow to consume us at times. Life is about family, friends, health and happiness. Pure and simple. So while last week may have shaken us, we will not be stirred. Looking forward to a new week with infinite possibilities. Have a great week my friends... Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver